This girl in my department is getting married early this fall and started dieting in January. She’s always on top of her work so it’s not surprising she’s on top of this and not merely waiting until two months before the Big Day to start.
She’s also a driven, competitive individual, which helps. When she began the diet, she goaded me to reveal much I weighed. “I bet you weigh less than I do,” she would say, poking at me. But I sidestepped her question because I really don’t know how much I weigh, and even if I did I wouldn’t tell her because I don’t think the weight of a nearly six-foot-tall guy has any bearing on the weight of a woman of average height.
So she’s looked elsewhere for encouragement, banding with other dieters in the office to talk about whatever it is dieters talk about: maybe brag how little they ate for lunch or how they would garrote their own mother for half a Snickers bar.
My problem with all of this is she’s losing weight and looks great, but I’m not sure how to tell her this or even if I should. In this self-absorbed and litigious age, I rarely complement a coworker on his or her appearance, because even if I try the old “Oh, did you get a haircut?” I’m hit with a retort like “I just didn’t have time to blow dry it this morning.” And it’s not so much feelings of impropriety as it is my general avoidance of sweet nothings like “Good morning” and “How are you?” In summary, for me to say something like “You’re looking good” could imply:
- She didn’t look good before.
- I have an ulterior motive because I haven’t addressed her personally before.
- I am a pervert and party to harassment.
Although I’m sure heath benefits are a component to why people diet, it’s really about looking better, isn’t it, particularly with swimsuit season fast approaching? So why shouldn’t I be able to complement her on her appearance? And would “You’re looking good” even be the right way to put it? It’s vague, although “Hey, you’ve lost weight!” doesn’t work, either.