Time Out New York magazine released its annual apartments issue this week, and as soon as I saw that the lead article contained featurettes about neighborhoods “On the Verge,” I got a tingly Selsun Blue sensation that I knew what one of those locales would be.
The article never specifies what these neighborhoods are on the verge of, but the implication is gentrification and/or popularity, at least among us fools that want to and can barely afford to live in New York City. I paged through the excited callouts for East Harlem (where my pal Kelly lives), Hunter’s Point, Sunset Park and Bushwick (um, that one’s “Over the Verge”). Last and least, was—that’s right—my very own Inwood.
The brief summary gives a typical crack about how far uptown it is and the length of the ride (“30-minute commute to 59th Street on the A train”). I’ve noticed no one ever mentions that the 1 and A trains that stop in Inwood are supremely reliable and that if you factor in delays and related shenanigans associated with, say, the L to Brooklyn, commutes like that one end up as long as my “way north” trip.
The Inwood blurb also describes the fancy area west of Broadway as mostly “prewar apartment buildings, some with Art Deco touches.” My neighborhood east of Broadway is summed up as “a bit more run-down,” which is code for “not a lot of whitey” and “there isn’t a Starbucks there yet.”
A strangely matter-of-fact comment closes the piece: “Another gentrification indicator: the emergence of a visible gay population.” Not in my part of the neighborhood, apparently, unless gay people are now letting their small dogs shit on the sidewalk without cleanup. Although I swear that after I read this article, I was suddenly seeing gay people everywhere, including the guy sashaying down the sidewalk with his laundry basket and another fellow who resembled a tall version of George Michael.