Deathmatch: Ford v. Brown
Best Known As
- Gerald Ford: “oldest former president”
- James Brown: “the Godfather of Soul” and “the hardest working man in show business”
- Advantage: Brown
Legacy
- Ford: replaced Nixon
- Brown: “I Feel Good” and many other fine songs, including a #1 R&B hit about hot pants
- Advantage: too close to call
Low Moments
- Ford: pardoned Nixon; “Ford to City: Drop Dead”
- Brown: domestic violence charge, subsequent hideous mug shot; “Living in America”
- Advantage: ?
Hobbies
- Ford: golf; falling down
- Brown: sweating; feelin’ like a sex machine
- Advantage: Brown
Saturday Night Live Impersonator
- Ford: Chevy Chase
- Brown: Eddie Murphy
- Advantage: draw
Provided Own Voice on The Simpsons?
Mourning Public
- Ford: will be allowed to file by coffin in the Capitol Rotunda
- Brown: will be allowed to file by coffin at the Apollo Theater
- Advantage: Brown
Funeral Tunes
- Ford: military music
- Brown: “Soul Power”
- Advantage: Brown
Funerary Attitude (according to New York Times coverage)
- Ford: “less pageantry than the funeral of former President Ronald Reagan”
- Brown: “pomp, circumstance, chants and song”
- Advantage: Brown
Coffin
- Ford: flag-covered
- Brown: 24-karat-gold
- Advantage: Brown
And the winner after 10 rounds is Brown.