A news item on Pitchfork today notes that Tom Waits has won another lawsuit brought by him against a consumer goods company for appropriating his voice or music for an ad. That makes a total of four such suits won: two against auto manufacturers (Opel and Audi), one against Levi’s and the first and most infamous against Frito-Lay.
Forget the fact that from day one, Waits has made it plain that he will never license his songs or his voice for advertisements (though his songs have appeared in movies and TV shows). What junior ad execs out there think the man’s voice could shill anything to a Kelly Clarkson-loving public short of an ineffective new brand of cough lozenges?
Bless him, but he sounds like that guy in the rusty white Econoline who tricks kids inside with promises of popsicles. He’s got the mug, too. A jury member in Waits’ suit against Frito-Lay took a look at him in court and assumed it was a criminal case. (“[W]hen he left the court the first time, we thought he was getting away,” the juror recalled.)
It’s sport among the Waits faithful and record reviewers to describe his voice. Feel free to select one word or phrase each from column A, B and C to make your own descriptor.
| A | B | C |
| gravel | turning in | a boxcar |
| rusty razor blades | abrading | a crow’s craw |
| sandpaper | caught up in | a cement mixer |
| the prince of darkness | rattling around in | a fever dream |
| a piano’s black keys | marinating in | a can of turpentine |
| a shot of whiskey | abandoned in | an empty grain silo |
| an accordion | wedged into | a hurdy gurdy |
| a junkyard dog | haunting | the root cellar |
| a sinus infection | wheezing in | a drunken sailor’s skull |
Or just listen to this 1.3 MB mp3 of his song “Anywhere I Lay My Head” from his 1985 album Rain Dogs. Ah, Tom. Your voice doesn’t make me hunger for Fritos and for that I am indebted to you and your pugnacious lawyers.