Arrested

Google is the Mad Libs of the 2000s. Here’s the current Google-abuse game making the rounds at work: in double-quotes, Google “[your first name] was arrested for”. Hilarity ensues. For example, the top-10 things Jason’s been arrested for are:

1. punching a man who he thought was after his girlfriend.
2. public intoxication and drug possession in Des Moines.
3. an unthinkable crime: murder. It didn’t make sense. Jason was a respected Navy officer.
4. misdemeanor battery after an altercation with a tow truck driver in September.
5. bootlegging, and fined $1,500.
6. underage drinking in Greenville, North Carolina last week.
7. embezzlement.
8. beating Joumana¹.
9. felony theft.
10. for Brian’s shooting. He was handcuffed to a railing and left to die until Nikolas found him.

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¹ Which isn’t as bad as beating Joumama. Ha ha! [back]