Possible Company Sale
Bruce Wasserstein’s private equity and investment firm is exploring a sale of the company I work for. Announcing and explaining this, we received a letter today via email from our CEO and attended a hastily assembled staff meeting, the contents of which can be summarized thusly:
- We love you. Also, our investors.
- Don’t panic.
- Stay the course.
- We upper-management types won’t share much more information with you about this possible sale but we’re blindly confident any potential new owners will value each and every one of your pretty little heads as much as we do.
- Get back to work.
Also today, I bought new dress shoes from a “fine menswear” store on Madison Avenue using the gift certificate my boss gave me for Christmas. The salesman, wearing a partially unbuttoned dress shirt revealing a gold necklace and a thatch of chest hair, attempted to upsell me into purchasing a second pair for half-price but I’m not budgeted for two pairs of shoes this month and was really only interested in exhausting the gift certificate before I forgot about it.