To promote The Simpsons Movie, 7-Eleven has temporarily transformed a dozen of its stores to resemble the Kwik-E-Mart convenience store from the animated series. What’s more, those 12 stores, plus most of the chain’s 6,000+ other North American locations, are carrying products previously available only in Springfield: Slurpees have been redubbed Squishees and customers can also buy Krusty-O’s breakfast cereal, Buzz Cola and donuts with pink frosting and sprinkles.
At the Kwik-E-Mart I visited tonight, on 42nd Street between Eighth and Ninth Avenues, the decor is well done, from the striped Kwik-E-Mart logo covering the store’s original external signage, to the show-quoting signs and giant cutouts of the series’ main characters posted inside. The clerks even wear lavender and green shirts inspired by Apu’s own uniform. On the donut case I noticed a small sign referencing Apu’s rebuff to Homer’s overzealous self-service donut-topping that “A Mounds bar is not a sprinkle. A Twizzler is not a sprinkle. A Jolly Rancher is not a sprinkle, sir.”
The level of Simpsons fandom is such that a reference to the show cannot be obscure; it can only be slightly less-referenced. My favorite among these is the life-size image of Jasper trapped in suspended animation inside a freezer case. (See ““Lisa the Simpson.”)
I realize 7-Eleven chose to develop the most-recognizable and multi-referenced food/beverage items from the show because they can’t afford to be too obscure with stuff that’s taking up valuable shelf space. But I spot at least three missed opportunities.1
- Duff beer. “Can’t get enough of that wonderful Duff!” That shit would’ve flown off the shelves and instantly appeared on eBay and at frat parties nationwide. The reason for its non-existence, according to an Associated Press article today, is that 7-Eleven and Fox felt that selling Simpsons-themed alcohol to promote a PG-13 movie may very well have been “a tough call” but “didn’t seem to fit.”
- Cheers for Krusty-O’s. Jeers for not including a Jagged Metal Krusty-O inside each specially marked box. C’mon, it could’ve been just a plastic jagged metal Krusty-O.
- My background in the candy business requires me to ask: why no Krusty Klump Bar and Krusty Klump Bar with Almonds? Get the lead out, private-label chocolate manufacturers.
Yet judging by the crowd of nerds taking pictures for their blogs and judging by the Kwik-E-Mart-style gouging on the Simpsons merchandise (I bought a 12-ounce can of Buzz Cola for 96 cents), this could be a profitable publicity stunt for the chain.
1 Among readily conceivable foodstuffs, that is. Because, yes, as a white male, age 18 to 49, I would like to buy some Nuts and Gum and Skittle Bräu. But let’s be realistic. [back]