Those Giant Eyeglasses
- Jason
- When will the hipster girls adopt those giant, 1980s-professional eyeglasses? Or have they and no one briefed me?
- S.
- You totally missed the boat. Those are, like, so 2004.
- Jason
- I’ve been out of it since I let my style consultant go. Desiree spent all her time at sample sales when she should have been attending Fashion Week, planning my winter wardrobe and answering the phone in my apartment-sized closet. Lately, I’ve been using American Apparel ads to let me know what’s cool.
- S.
- So how come I haven’t seen you at work donning a pair of royal blue tights and nothing else?
- Jason
- I was totally wearing royal gold tights last Friday. Occasionally I would cup my breasts and arch my back, alive with pleasure. Then I was sent home early.
- S.
- I can’t believe I missed your shenanigans. If you canned your former assistant, you need a new one, right? Can my nametag say “Fashion Consultant Extraordinaire”? Or maybe “Roving Ambassador” would be nice.
- Jason
- I dub thee “Roving Ambassador.” Go forth and spread thy riches of snark, fashion sense and myrrh.