Mr. Massey the Bus Driver

I can’t believe I remember this but when I was in grade school, my friends and I had a salty, bearded lumberjack of a bus driver named Mr. Massey who chain smoked every second he wasn’t in the bus. The dude reeked like the Marlboro Man’s ashtray. As a sort-of gift one Christmas season, we developed clever new lyrics to “Frosty the Snowman” and sang the song during our commute. It was an elaborate production and I’m certain Mr. Massey appreciated our efforts. The only verses I can recall are:

Mr. Massey the bus driver
Was a very jolly soul
Smoked two packs a day
And got fricasseed
Now he’s just a lump of coal

There must have been some magic
In those old two packs he smoked
For when he placed them in his mouth
He gasped and wheezed and choked.