Andie’s Startling Morning

Andie left me an urgent voicemail at work early this morning, then gave me a follow-up call, to relate two distressing developments in her commute today.

First, a bum took a crap on her in-motion downtown 1 train, causing all passengers in a 15-foot radius to surge to the far end of the car and cling together like the final passengers alive aboard the Titanic.

Then, upon arriving to her gym prior to work, she came across a guy who had died while working out. Paramedics on the scene continued unsuccessfully to resuscitate him.

I believe the pooping was more traumatic because death doesn’t smell as bad, at least not initially.