I’m honored! Today around 10 a.m., a dude on Eighth Avenue in midtown tried to pull the bottle-drop scheme on me. I’d never had that happen before but I knew immediately what was going on.
Here’s how it works: a slouchy bruiser “accidentally” bumps into you as you pass one another, causing him to drop the bag he’s carrying, in which is a glass vodka or gin bottle. It hits the sidewalk and shatters. Note that I wrote “glass vodka or gin bottle” not “bottle of vodka or gin” because it’s a liquor bottle filled with water. Subject then grows belligerent and demands cash for replacement alcohol. I didn’t let this guy get that far; I kept walking. “Hey!” he shouted after me. I swung around, looked him in the eye and shouted back, “I’m not falling for that shit!” His angry face resolved into a shit-eating “I didn’t realize you lived here” grin. And that was that; we went our separate ways.
Heaven help the marks that fall for tricks like these—there are nothing but tourists on Eighth Avenue in midtown on late Sunday morning and I’d wager this bottle guy had a few unbroken extras and eventually bilked someone. I’ve also heard of this stunt pulled with eyeglasses.
Now would also be an appropriate time for further revelations to the naive and gullible of New York City:
- MetroCards sold by strangers are expired.
- Beggars on the subway likely don’t need your money for medication, to help them find a place to stay because their apartment building burned down or to “get something to eat.”
- Beggars on the street likely don’t need your money for bus, subway or train fare.
- The proceeds from the candy kids sell on the subway likely don’t fund their sports team or school (although the new shtick with these urchins is to announce that the money goes into their pocket, “to keep me out of trouble”).
- You probably shouldn’t offer your camera to strangers who volunteer to take a photo of your tour group.
- Any “luxury” goods sold on Canal Street are cheap knockoffs.
- There’s a brick inside the shrink-wrapped box of that bargain-priced laptop, not a laptop.
- Most DVDs sold on the subway and from vendors that spread them on the sidewalk atop a blanket are either blank or filmed with a camcorder from a theater seat.
- Demand the fare from a gypsy-cab hack before you enter his vehicle and even then, be prepared for a bait-and-switch.
Let me know which ones I’ve missed. I’m sure fresh scams have developed since the virtual extinction of three-card monte and squeegee guys.