This is one reason why people in my department are leery about taking vacation.
[Redacted]:
Hope you’re having a good vacation!
There’s a homeless guy named Curtis living in your cubicle now. He’s usually in the kitchenette pawing through the recycling bin or down in Battery Park drinking 40s with Gregg.
But when he’s here, he’s drying his socks on your monitor and napping under your desk. He’s so lazy. John assigned him the next two cover designs for Forum but all we’ve seen are some rough sketches he made on the bottom of an empty pizza box. Michael thinks he has promise and has taken to calling him “Curtains.”
We all miss you, except for Curtains, who hopes a terrible accident befalls you so he can clear off your desk and turn your cubicle into a fort.